I wore a pair of $60 H&M loafers to my sister’s outdoor wedding in July 2019 and by the time the cake was cut, my heels were literally raw meat. I’m not being dramatic. I had to walk across the gravel parking lot barefoot, carrying my shoes like a defeated toddler. That was the day I realized that being cheap about footwear is actually a form of self-harm. Since then, I’ve spent way too much time lurking on r/goodyearwelt and r/malefashionadvice trying to figure out what the “best loafers reddit” consensus actually is. I’ve bought seven pairs in four years. I’ve spent exactly $2,142.50 on leather that goes on my feet without socks. It’s a sickness.

Reddit is a weird place for style advice because it’s a mix of genuinely helpful nerds and people who think if you don’t spend $700 on a pair of Aldens, you’re basically wearing cardboard. But if you filter out the noise, there’s a pattern. Most people are just looking for something that doesn’t fall apart after three months of walking to the train station.

The entry-level trap that everyone falls for

Look, we all start with G.H. Bass. It’s the law. The Bass Weejun is the “gateway drug” of the loafer world. Reddit loves them because they’re iconic, but honestly? They kind of suck. I bought the Logan flat strap in 2020. The leather felt like it was coated in plastic—probably because it was. I tracked the wear over six months of semi-regular use, and the “leather” sole thinned out by nearly 3mm in the toe area after just 40 miles of pavement walking.

What I mean is—actually, let me put it differently. They’re fine if you just want the look for a photo, but the break-in period is a nightmare. It’s like wrapping your feet in stiff plywood. I used to think I just had weak feet. I was completely wrong. It was just bad leather. If you’re going to do Bass, get the “Heritage” line or don’t bother. Or better yet, save another hundred bucks and buy something that won’t make you bleed.

The part where I admit I was wrong about Allen Edmonds

I used to think Allen Edmonds was for guys who work in mid-tier accounting firms and have zero personality. I avoided the Randolph for years because it looked “boring.” Then I found a pair of factory seconds for $195 and figured, why not.

The Randolph is the most boring shoe I own, and it is also the only shoe I would trust to wear for a 12-hour day in Chicago without bringing Band-Aids.

The Reddit consensus on AE has shifted lately—people say the quality control has gone to hell since they were bought out. Maybe I got lucky, but my pair is solid. The shell cordovan version is the “grail,” but the calfskin is perfectly fine. It’s not flashy. It doesn’t scream “I read fashion blogs.” It just works.

A list of what Reddit actually recommends (and my gut reaction)

• Grant Stone Traveler: These are the current darlings of r/goodyearwelt. I have a pair in Bourbon Suede. They are heavy. Like, surprisingly heavy for a loafer. But the build quality is terrifyingly good for $300.
• Meermin Mallorca: The “budget” pick. Everyone says they’re the best value. I think they’re torture devices. The stiffest insoles in the known universe.
• Rancourt & Co.: For that specific “New England dad who owns a boat he never uses” vibe. They’re soft, unlined, and feel like slippers.
• Alden 986: The king. The Leisure Handsewn. If you have $600+ and want to feel like a 1950s Harvard professor, this is it.

The horsebit loafer rant

I know people will disagree with this, and I’ll probably get flamed in the comments if I ever posted this on the actual site, but I refuse to recommend Gucci loafers. Or any horsebit loafer, really. I don’t care if they’re “classic.” To me, they look like something a divorce attorney wears to a strip club. There’s a certain level of unearned confidence that comes with wearing metal hardware on your shoes that I just can’t get behind. It feels performative. Give me a plain penny loafer any day. The bit is a cry for help. It’s trying too hard to tell people you have money, even if you bought them used on eBay for $150.

Is the Alden 986 actually worth the hype?

I finally bit the bullet and bought the Alden 986 in Color 8 Shell Cordovan last year. I felt like an idiot spending that much on shoes. My wife definitely thought I was an idiot. But here’s the thing: I’ve worn them at least twice a week for 14 months. I’ve walked through rain, spilled a latte on the left toe in a Starbucks in midtown, and haven’t polished them once. They still look better than they did the day I unboxed them.

The Van last (that’s the shape of the shoe, for the non-nerds) is weirdly roomy. If you have narrow feet, you’ll hate them. My feet are like slightly flattened baked potatoes, so they fit me perfectly. I measured the leather thickness on the strap—it’s a full 1.2mm thicker than the Bass ones I started with. That matters. It’s the difference between a shoe that lasts three years and a shoe you give to your son.

Anyway, I digress. The point is that the “best” loafer is usually just the one that doesn’t make you think about your feet while you’re wearing them.

I still don’t know if I’m actually “into” fashion or if I’ve just turned shoe shopping into a high-stakes research project to distract myself from my actual job. Sometimes I look at my closet and see two grand worth of leather and wonder if I should have just bought a really nice mountain bike instead. Do people even notice my shoes? Probably not. They’re looking at their phones. But when I’m walking down the street and I don’t feel like my heels are being chewed on by a disgruntled badger, it feels worth it.

Just don’t buy the Gucci ones. Seriously.